My Adventures in Space

It was another dull day going by in my vacational spaceship, which revolved around the planet Kvarbatron, or also referred to as the planet Mars. The events of yesterday, and so many days before seem to repeat, which eventually will superimpose on its own accord and resemble a giant ball of assorted chicken parts all squished together by a four-year-old martian.

Creating edible human food from recycled waste and moon rocks, staring blankly at the sixteen beautiful neighbours that presented themselves as Europa, Callisto, Io, and so on. Every activity that I attempted to partake and have fun in had a soundtrack of mourning wraiths and monotone melodies.

It caught me by surprise. I was unprepared, and inexperienced. My only hint was when the slow and drab melody began to pick up, wild drums began to beat in the background, in sync with my steadily rising heart beat. Then it happened. It came as a blur, encompassed by a bundle of blinding light, barely sufficient amount of time was allotted for me to blink before the being bagan its barbaric assualt. Plastered against my windshield was it's challenge: "FREE iPOD!!1!" it announced in big, bold, opaque colours. Overtaken by terror, eyes indefinitely stapled in the "wide" position, I proceeded to scream in terror. But my hands, my beautiful holy hands, reacted for me. In one swift motion, as if on its own accord, my hands shot to the laser gun, aimed, and blasted that revolting offender for all its worth. Little did I know that the REAL battle was just dawning.

Like a swarm of infuriated hornets, its companions came.

"GIVE ME ALL YA GOT!" I yelled.

Despite the fact that these two dimensional beings were not equipped with the ability to understand speech. Putting on my best "cold-blooded killer" face, I instructed my noble hands to ready the laser gun.

"FIRE!" I commanded.

A brilliant stream of energy and crimson light discharged from the weapon. I watched in delight as each and everyone of my assailants, not unlike the cruel slaughtering of balloons, were massacred and annihilated into oblivion.

I gazed at my handiwork as I lowered the laser gun, "Hell yeah."