Hallowe'en is a Coming!

Halloween is coming.
All of the immortal creatures of the human realm embark on their long trek past the Sub Atmosphere, The Sea of Moaning Wraiths, Mr. George's Sky Castle, the Forest of Lingering Mist, and finally, unto the Land of Immortal Beings, in time for the annual Hallow Eve bash!

The Twenty Things You Wanted to Know About Sandie But Were Afraid To Ask Due to Possible Legal – But More Importantly Psychological - Ramifications

1) My folder size has recently breached the 10GB plateau. 10.22GB to be exact.

2) I despise ignorance, injustice, egotism, snobbishness, close-mindedness, vindictiveness, and @#$!%@^!#$ censorship.

3) I once made three separate hospital stays in one year. Varying from a broken wrist, asthma, to an intestinal infection.

4) I am a sucker for finely dressed men, calculated casualness, and men who have an artistic flair and an European accent.

5) I was always an imaginative child, and as a kid I wanted to be a meteorologist, a flight attendant, a librarian, and a chef in a five star restaurant. My current dream occupation is to work lavishly under the immaculate supremacy that is Google. However, these dreams have unfortunately been seared quite thoroughly by this thing called reality.

6) Once upon a time I was a cool kid in my elementary years, part of the "popular crowd". All was swell and peachy until I had a personal conflict with my best mate, who happened to be the "leader" of said elite crowd of social snobbishness, then I became a geek.

7) I was born in Taipei, Taiwan. Mumsee decided to fly the family to Canada in search for better education, and lifesyle. However, we founded a living that proved to be quite the contrary.

8) My typing speed clocks in at approximately 85WPM.

9) I had never had a doubt as to where I wanted to pursue my higher education, and where I want to stay for the better part of my humble existence until recently.

10) I find that there is nothing more pure/haunting/beautiful than the sound of an acoustic piano, or acoustic classical guitar, for that matter.

11) I think of myself an extroverted introvert.

12) When stumped as to which fancy gifts spoil fabulous me with, chocolate is always fool-proof. Always. That, or money.

13) I've recently discovered that I have an unusual spinal cord disease in which the symptom is idiopathic curvation of the spine. In the event that the curve in my vertebrae were to increase from it's current position of 17 degrees, I would have to undergo a choice of either spinal fusion, or the insertion of a Harrington implant.

14) I like to indulge in the shopping of frivolous items, like skirts as well as shoes and clothing items of the general sort. I enjoy it, Alot. Unfortunately, my lack of cash for such indulgences have been making me consider a part-time job.

15) I scored 27.81065% "Total Geek" @http://www.innergeek.us/, and my Geek Code is GED/FA/L/O d- s: a--- C++ U--- PL---E? W++ N o? K++> w+ O--- M- V? PS++ PE Y PGP? T--- 5? X- R+ tv+ b++ DI? D? G+ e- h- r-- !x+

16) I enjoy quality foreign/short films immensely. It's a refreshing break from all that crap that's coming out of that ass called Hollywood(with notable exceptions of course). A few recent favourites include Le Marche de l'Empereur, Amélie, Mononoke Hime(All studio Ghibli films), Beijing Bycycle, Y tu Mama Tambien, and more.

17) I own a pet chinchilla named Beanie, he's a standard grey chinchilla, and he's the most adorable creature you will ever encounter.

[edit]
18) Upon further inspection, it turns out that my list was three shy of 20...
Thanks to the Greg for his observation.

19) A couple years back, I told myself that I would never create a blog, and that blogs were stupid, silly, and for self-centered kiddies.

20) I urge everyone to participate in the annual NaNoWriMo. Despite the fact that I may not be participating this year, but I will next year, for sure.

Corsets

Corsets are fabulously stylish, however it isn't all that easy to find one. What's the solution to this fashion difficulty? The razor to the overgrown moustache, the seasoning to the mediocre bread? Get a body corset!

Pioneers

The valiant conquerers of the Moon Pastry.





Original Artwork found @ http://mapage.noos.fr/minimiam/go.htm

Half a Dozen Dreams

I had half a dozen dreams today. Though impressive, I considered it falling short of the eight dreams per night average.

Mere moments before I ungracefully roll out of bed, I decided that I should make a point to remember my dreams before I officially wake up. I counted with my imaginary fingers; there were five. That was astounding, considering that recollecting even just one dream was considered a feat for me these days.

I looked towards the corner of my bedroom where the silhouette of a figure stood. "Isn't that amazing?" I asked Edward the Concrete Man.

Edward is a professional painter that lived in the space between my bed and the wall. He nodded earnestly, and I was awarded with a silly grin that caused his handlebar moustache to shift upwards slightly. Edward was a cheerful man, never failing to lighten up that dark corner in my bedroom where he dwelled out his quiant existence.

Edward was working on his latest project. A project that Edward promises has as much potential as the premier release of the Return of the King. Edward tells me it's going to be a smashing hit, and that it will be known all over the world, and the name of Edward the Concrete Man will ring a melodic soothing tone in the hearts of the public. I can hardly wait.

I shot Edward a smile and waved. Bright rose tinted his cheeks as he dipped his hand into a puddle of garnet and smeared it across the waiting walls.

I gazed in enchantment at Edward the Concrete Man's exploit, his magnum opus.

"It's beautiful..." muttered I, before falling painfully out of bed onto the floor and waking up.


Artwork by TheManWhoFellAsleep

My Adventures in Space

It was another dull day going by in my vacational spaceship, which revolved around the planet Kvarbatron, or also referred to as the planet Mars. The events of yesterday, and so many days before seem to repeat, which eventually will superimpose on its own accord and resemble a giant ball of assorted chicken parts all squished together by a four-year-old martian.

Creating edible human food from recycled waste and moon rocks, staring blankly at the sixteen beautiful neighbours that presented themselves as Europa, Callisto, Io, and so on. Every activity that I attempted to partake and have fun in had a soundtrack of mourning wraiths and monotone melodies.

It caught me by surprise. I was unprepared, and inexperienced. My only hint was when the slow and drab melody began to pick up, wild drums began to beat in the background, in sync with my steadily rising heart beat. Then it happened. It came as a blur, encompassed by a bundle of blinding light, barely sufficient amount of time was allotted for me to blink before the being bagan its barbaric assualt. Plastered against my windshield was it's challenge: "FREE iPOD!!1!" it announced in big, bold, opaque colours. Overtaken by terror, eyes indefinitely stapled in the "wide" position, I proceeded to scream in terror. But my hands, my beautiful holy hands, reacted for me. In one swift motion, as if on its own accord, my hands shot to the laser gun, aimed, and blasted that revolting offender for all its worth. Little did I know that the REAL battle was just dawning.

Like a swarm of infuriated hornets, its companions came.

"GIVE ME ALL YA GOT!" I yelled.

Despite the fact that these two dimensional beings were not equipped with the ability to understand speech. Putting on my best "cold-blooded killer" face, I instructed my noble hands to ready the laser gun.

"FIRE!" I commanded.

A brilliant stream of energy and crimson light discharged from the weapon. I watched in delight as each and everyone of my assailants, not unlike the cruel slaughtering of balloons, were massacred and annihilated into oblivion.

I gazed at my handiwork as I lowered the laser gun, "Hell yeah."

How to Have Fun

I woke up the other day, woke up all new like, fresh and invigorated. It was a new day. New moments and minutes and seconds presented themselves like so many angry Irishmen, adept at producing sweary nonsense and odd outbursts of paraphrasing. I felt at peace with the world, I felt like all was right and all was as it was meant to be.

I spent a couple of hours pottering around, cleaning up after myself and making small things out of paper and old rag. The morning passed, as mornings are wont to do, and soon it was afternoon. The sun streamed in through the window, leaving golden shapes on my face and the floor and whatever it is that lives in the corner of my kitchen. I dare not ask its name. I count myself lucky that it hasn't tried to kill me yet.

A few more hours passed. I realised I had been staring into space. Or, at least, I would have been staring into space if it wasn't for the fact I was looking downwards and Space, if you take "Space" to be that infinite and seemingly empty void that stretches on and on as far as the eye can see in any direction you choose from our lovely little planet, would not be underneath my floorboards.

I was bored. Really bored. Things weren't happening. Everything was too peaceful. Everything was, well, apple shaped. As opposed to pear shaped. Which still, in the grand scheme of things isn't a bad shape to be, really. My life had become something to be content about, something to wallow in, something to be at peace with. But it was oh so terribly dull.

It was at that moment that I had a revelation. I knew how to make things interesting again. I knew how I should proceed with my existence on this small and round-shaped chunk of rock in the outer arm of the galaxy known to some as "Jim" but to others as "That Milky Waaaaay"

I was going to have a midlife crisis. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea. Fair enough, I was only 16, I had many years to go before the time, date or location that would be known as a "midlife crisis" arrived on my doorstep. But I was bored, there was nothing to do so I sat down and started started to have my midlife crisis.

But then it dawned on me. I had no idea how to have a midlife crisis. It was all terribly new to me. I'd heard tales, of course. I'd seen the sitcoms and the hilariously inventive ways in which middle-aged men took out their rage and frustrations upon an unsuspecting world.

I tried to emulate a few of the things I'd seen. Then I remembered that I couldn't remember any of the things which, if they were written in a book would have been collectively known as "How to Have a Midlife Crisis".

I decided to make a list, which if I ever got round to it, I would publish in a book :

How to Have a Midlife Crisis

Basically, go a little crazy. But not too crazy. Otherwise people will think you're insane, rather than simply "having a crisis"

Ways in which this can be achieved are as followed...

Spread some jam on a duck.

Go walking around and around your garden at night singing Disney songs. Don't do this naked. That would be odd.

Start watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Whilst wrapped in saran wrap.

Become either a being of pure energy, a Bhuddist monk or Rob Manuel. But not all three. That would also be odd.

Start a fight with yourself.

And there you go. By now, it was nearly dinner time, so I got up and proceeded to fight the thing that lives in the corner of my kitchen for the right to get into my cupboard. This was always a lot of fun and never failed to brighten up a dull day.

Émilie Simon

Before computer time, and after cookie baking, somehow I found myself watching March of the Penguins(March de l'Empereur)
I have read the reviews from Haro Online about a week ago, and it seemed like something I'd enjoy. I always knew I had the film, I just hadn't figured out how to work the damn DVD player. By no means am I technologically illiterate, my dad just happened to link it together with two other media players which made it difficult to comprehend. But lets cut to the chase; the movie was stunning, hypnotic and definitely not a disposable film. What struck me the most was how brilliantly the pop tunes of Emilie Simon complimented the mood and subject of the movie, penguins. People don't normally associate pop music with a documentary-like film, however, in the case of Le Marche de L'Empereur, it goes together like peanut butter and jelly, Chandler and Monica, soy sauce and eggs(hey I like it personally).

Fresh

Fresh new blog to start a new... whatever.. HOORAH! Hopefully this one will be more active than the last.