It Buzzes...

It buzzes.

As I sit here typing away, it continues to buzz. The fly flies circles around and around the perimeter of my bedroom. The small ball of dirty black hovers momentarily every now and then before resting on my ceiling fan, then proceeding to heartily slam itself against my window repeatedly before moving on, buzzing incessantly as it resumes its laps around my walls. The buzzing noise increases in volume at the fly approaches my desk; then it recedes as it distances itself once more, before approaching again, in an endless cycle.

It buzzes.

As I re-enter my bedroom a few moments later with a most dramatical entrance, fly zapper in one hand, rolled up newspaper in the other. Slowly, fly zapper raised in the air, I inch towards the fly, as it rests on my lamp. I hold my breath and swing down, I miss. It buzzes, as I flail my arms around wildly like a bear with a honey comb stuck on its head.

It buzzes.

As I sit down in defeat. I open my Opera browser and decided to do some reading to distract myself from the eternal buzzing. I indulge myself in some Wikipedia and Slashdot articles, intermittent with occasional outbursts of profanity as I swipe viciously at the fly when it gets too close to my head. After some Bash.org and forum surfing I come across this:

I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am.

Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait".

So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny pokemon have less than a 1/1000 chance of appearing). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny pidgey, gone forever.

I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears.

What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me.

I stare blankly at my computer screen before exploding in laughter. I laugh for a good twenty minutes, then I remembered,

It buzzes.

I think I'm going to look for a net. Wish me luck.